Photo courtesy of Annie Spratt from unsplash.com
I woke up this morning feeling creatively frustrated and impatient. This happens ALL the time haha! I felt like my life wasn’t moving fast enough – you know, that feeling as if your goals are far within reach or that you’ve missed the mark. I’ve learned over time that this is a part of my process. As a creative maker and performance artist, it’s during these quiet and lull moments of discomfort, that if I learn to sit through it, it springs forth a well of creative ideas that become tangible (creative-making part at least). This ultimately increases my inner peace, self-love, and gives me more love to share out there in the world, where we desperately need it.
The truth is, this feeling of “missing the mark,” is a universal feeling. I have found it most common amongst extremely ambitious and successful people – it’s this “thing” that pushes them to do and be better. There’s always room for improvement, right? But it’s a feeling that plagues us all in some degree or another, and if not monitored it can make you feel terribly bad…quick.
I have so many goals in life and I often wonder, will I reach them all? Will I have enough time? Or, will I croak and die before actualizing them? Those that sit on the outside say, “You have improved and have grown so much!” And here I am telling myself, why can’t my life go any quicker!
10 years ago, this feeling would devastate me. I’d start to give in, get depressed, and believe that I wouldn’t be able to make my dreams come true. Today, I still feel those feelings from time to time (less frequent now), however I’ve learned that it’s an irrational thought. It’s okay to have a voracious appetite to succeed, to build a name for yourself, and increase your financial earnings. But as I continue to pursue my goals and dreams, time and time again I’m reminded about what truly matters, and that’s intention.
A dream actualized will never fulfill your heart and soul if your intention is not pure. Pure, meaning based on love and not fear. Lately, I’ve been working towards my goal of getting back in physical shape.
The wrong intention would be to “just look good and sexy.” This intention has a foundation of vanity, insecurity, and caring about what others/society think of you. I’ve been able to keep up with my exercises consistently because I had set in my mind that my intention for taking care of my body was to: a) Love myself more; b) Become physically stronger so that I can be of service to my loved ones; c) Become a strong woman so that one day, God willing, if I am blessed to become a mother💕, I’ll be able to hold a baby in one arm and carry grocery bags in the other (sounds unsafe lol…of course I’d put the baby in a stroller 🤣).
My point is because my intentions have been based on love and not fear, I’ve seen consistency in the promises I give to myself and to others. And…I do notice tremendous growth in myself. Instead of feeling like I missed the mark, I’m going to celebrate my growth and acknowledge that I’m a consistent growth in progress. Discipline and commitment starts with yourself – it’s pretty amazing to see how this affects life outside of you and in your relationships.
I’ve also realized the right question to ask is why do I have these specific goals and dreams in the first place and how can reaching them help others? We are all connected and I truly believe we’re all here to love one another.
So the next time, you start getting impatient or frustrated that your on the slow train, sit in the uncertainty and silence. There’s so much to learn in places of stillness. Why do we want life to go quicker? Time flies anyway…you’re here one minute, gone the next. Life is about enjoying and being present in each moment. Everything that is meant for you will come at the right time. And your discomfort is just a sign to remind you that you’re connected to something bigger. We all are.